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[00:00:00] Hey friends, welcome to the life on purpose podcast. I'm your host, Amy. And as always, I am thrilled that you are with me. I just want to, again, thank you so much for your listenership in 2024. And I look forward to having you listen in again in 2025, we've got some fantastic new guests that are, we're going to be sharing their stories and encouraging you with hope and resources, and as well as some other exciting new things that are heading In 2025 I can't totally share yet, but I'll just give you a little snippet for curiosity's sake to entice you with some new things coming underneath the Life on Purpose brand.
So anyway, with that, welcome this morning. Today I want to talk about the idea of cultivating inner peace. I think that a lot of times we can get caught up. I know I can in my own head, and it's very hard to exercise the same level of inner peace as we sometimes can fake it [00:01:00] On the outside. And so there are many benefits of staying calm.
I recently wrote about this. So if you also are not someone who follows the blog yet, you can get a newsletter every week. I share these same messages and stories. I think repetition sometimes is key, right? We forget so quickly and easily. And, but they are things relevant topics that happen to all of us.
And so if you haven't already go over to my website and you can follow along there, sign up and you can receive the emails that I'm sending out, but getting back to the benefits of staying calm, right? I, in the last few months, actually. leading up to Christmas. I watched the movie. You've got mail. I cannot tell you how many times I'm actually almost a little embarrassed to say.
And some of you might be thinking that's not really a holiday movie, but there is a scene, a section in there that does focus around holiday time. And so There are a million reasons why I actually love the [00:02:00] movie. I love that the main characters Matt Ryan and Tom Hanks I love that the setting I love the just the whole kind of old romantic You know chick flick type of movie and But mostly I love the relevancy of things that we all deal with in different ways.
And these are two very different people. If you haven't seen the movie, I recommend taking a, you know, taking a minute to watch it. But one of the scenes in particular that really stands out with me is, Meg Ryan is somebody who's, you know, very poised and someone who really can keep it together. But she gets frustrated when people around her, in particular, this one guy, Tom Hanks when she has something to say.
She's frustrated. She wants to like lash out something to say and she can't find the words to do it. In this one particular scene, she does it. She actually says exactly what she's [00:03:00] feeling in real time and spouts it out. And to her surprise, where she thought she would feel so much better, so much more peace and content and having closure and saying what she wanted to say, she ended up feeling worse.
Now, I too have found myself in similar situations where I know how to react to something, but I let my feelings control the response. And maybe you've been there as well, where, you know, I assume I'm going to have peace and closure in a situation if I unload everything that I need to say to this person.
However, every time I fail to practice a thoughtful pause, I find myself feeling more conflicted and unsettled than before. And like I said, maybe you can relate to this. So what does inner peace, what does it mean to have inner peace? What is it? And why does it matter? If you look it up, inner peace is a state of tranquility where you're at ease with yourself, others, and the world around [00:04:00] you.
It's a all about being fully present and comfortable in your skin and less impacted by anxiety and worry and stress. I mean, sounds amazing, right? We all want to have inner peace and why wouldn't we? When you experience inner peace, you take ownership of your strengths, but you also take ownership of your weaknesses.
You know your limitations, you're aware of them, and you have a willingness to work on those things. Everything that makes you uniquely you, you are. You have ownership over it also helps you adjust your expectations of others and to let go of the need to prove yourself right. Inner peace for me always begins and ends with knowing God and trusting him in all things.
Yet, just like in the movie the character, I'm human and life sometimes can interfere with what I know, with how I react and how I respond to things and people. Staying calm for me [00:05:00] requires truth, logic, reflection, and an acknowledgement of surrendering things beyond my control. And , those are things easily said, but sometimes very difficult to practice.
And I know I'm not alone here, but I think it's really important to Not only just say it, but let's come up with some, having somewhere to go with it, I guess is what I'm trying to say. So I wanted in this episode to Thoughtfully share with you some ways to actually help you stay calm in situations where it can be a challenge and to create that sense of inner peace in your own life.
And sometimes we have it right and sometimes we don't, but it would be great to have things in our back pocket that we can take out then it becomes part of our habit.
And I think that's what we're really trying to establish is maybe some new habits to help us create this calmness and inner peace that we all are craving. So here are a few ways that have really helped me. [00:06:00] And again, there's nothing we're not talking about perfection here. We're just talking about being intentional and purposeful in how we're moving ahead.
So the first thing to me is always praying, right? Pray, meditate, get into God's word in some way or another. It doesn't matter. There's no competition. If you're not reading your Bible, then it doesn't count. Maybe you're doing a devotion. Do something, take the time to have a few minutes a day alone with God, whether it's in the morning, the afternoon.
I mean, I kind of, I'm taking a cue from my friend, Rachel Adams. I had interviewed her a few months back and one of the things that she said that really stood out to me that I loved and she had heard it from somebody else. So she's kind of, you know, copying it as well. is the idea in the morning.
She says she greets the day with a good morning to God. So she kind of keeps the conversation going. If you were, if it was like your husband or child or friend or whoever you're seeing and you're starting the [00:07:00] day with good morning and then you're ending the day with amen after you've already had all the conversation that you needed to throughout the day with him.
And so I think that's a wonderful practice as well. But some way, shape or form. Get into communication with God. I also think it's really beneficial when we have time to just sit and reflect and maybe we're just Reflecting on one scripture verse maybe we're reflecting on just one word and we just need to hear God's response to what that is that we're trying to that we're feeling it that's weighing on us and That's the only way to really accomplish it is to have that time alone and to have it be undistracted.
So I really would say prioritize that as the number one thing. The second thing is living in the present and not in the past. And what I mean by that is a lot of times we forego our inner peace because we are so caught up with past hurts or [00:08:00] past experiences. And I have found that I'm guilty of this. I can't tell you, you know, how many times that sometimes I'm, I still find myself, even at a good season ruminating.
over a bad season. And sometimes it's just the way it happens. We just get caught up or something might trigger it. And then immediately you go back to, gosh, remember when such and all this angst and anxiety and all of those feelings come to the surface again. But if we focus on just living in the present and what God is doing in our lives right now, and what's in, and even if it is a challenging season right now, focusing on the present in the sense of, What good thing God has done in the midst of this challenging season and really put all our time and attention on that.
The third thing I would say is to forgive others. I think New Year's, even though there's a lot of resolutions that people have, and normally they have a lot [00:09:00] to do with more, I feel like career, success, money, finances, all of that kind of stuff. But when we're talking about resolutions from a personal perspective and creating more peace and contentment in our lives, forgiveness to me comes at the very top.
I think that there's a lot of instances where it's extremely difficult to forgive. And I think that there are valid reasons, but it's always important to remember that sometimes the forgiveness is more about us letting it go and letting God taking it over. And the other thing with that too is, and I recently heard this and I think it was with Sandra Bullock,
About forgiveness to recognize that the other person that you're looking to forgive, they don't really care.
And so it's really just up to you to allow that peace and contentment, let it go, close that chapter out without their input or approval [00:10:00] or really acknowledgement of it. Because sometimes They're not as interested in giving it as you are in receiving it. And so it really, if it's a matter of your inner peace and contentment, then it's just something that you have to move forward with and acknowledge it, forgive it and just move on.
And so there's really something powerful. It gives you back really the power to be able to move ahead without counting on somebody else to do that for you. Because a lot of times we wait around for. This apology that we think we deserve and maybe we do deserve it, but when we don't get it we hyper focus on it and we just can't let it go.
And I think if we can just move on and just acknowledge that, okay, we might not get it. I forgive them for not giving it and now I'm done with it and really just putting the power back in, in your hands and how you're going to handle it. And that creates another level of peace and contentment.
The fourth thing I would say is to keep a positive mindset. Now, I know everybody always says that, stay [00:11:00] positive and all of those things, but I think it's really important and I kind of touched on this a minute ago is you don't always have to have a gratitude journal or anything like that, but I do think there is something really impactful about starting your day with, whether it's writing three things down that were good in that day.
Okay. And maybe it was just like, I was able to, take a shower and wash my hair, or I got a workout in, or, you know, maybe it's not going to be this grand thing that you want to happen, right? Maybe the situation that you want to resolve still didn't get resolved, or maybe there was an argument that day, but there has to be something good.
And maybe it's, thank you God for roof over my head. Thank you for this food I'm able to eat. Thank you for my legs workings that I can walk. Thank you for my health, for not having a disease, anything. And when we do that, when we have that become our daily, again, daily habit, daily routine, it really changes our perspective and it also changes and softens us on the inside to be [00:12:00] able to say, you know what, This situation right now is not good.
I don't feel happy in it, but I'm choosing joy because I have a lot of other things to be grateful for. And like I said, it could be just something as simple as a roof over your head, which is something. So just keep that in mind. The fifth thing is practicing self care. And I think practicing self care is very important.
And I'm not just talking about losing a few vanity pounds and, you know, going on a diet and all of that, which I feel like everybody needs after the holiday. Or not everybody, but if you're over 50, that's all I hear my friends talking about. But I'm talking about the self care where, It's okay to say no.
I mean, I find that I don't have the same desire to just keep running and doing and going as I did when I was in my thirties and even in my forties. And I think that's okay. If I'm tired or if I don't just feel up to it or I just feel like I'm kind of overwhelmed, I'm not as worried [00:13:00] anymore about removing myself from the situation or just being honest and saying, you know what, I would love to go, but I just don't have it in me and or I am just not up for going.
It's just I would much rather and it's nothing against you, but just stay in and just kind of chill out. It's been a busy holiday season or a busy day or whatever the case is. You really need to start assessing things. What are your needs and really trying to focus on that and not in a selfish way where it's like we're not being other centered in a way that's authentic to where you are in this particular season, you know, coming off of the holiday.
A lot of us just hosted a lot of people. I know for me, one of my highlights is always having all of my children home. And it's different. When they were home, you would think it would be more chaotic, right? Because they're here under your feet all the time. But as they get older, it's different because people are coming in at different times and there's never really a one person.
Time where you can just expect everybody's going to [00:14:00] be in. It's just always kind of having to be on because people are dropping in at different times and leaving at different times. And so I've noticed in the last few years that I've really felt this pull to kind of slow down instead of gear up after the holiday, just to kind of, Stay true to how I was feeling and practicing some self care for me just looked like rest.
Just simply rest. Nothing spectacular. Maybe just going out for a walk, maybe just being by myself, which was okay. And I think that the more we give ourselves permission to lean into what our bodies are telling us, I think it's going to be better for not only ourselves, but for the people around us.
The next thing I would say is to seek out places where you find peace. So kind of piggybacking a little bit off of practicing self care. Maybe a place where you find peace is just going out for a walk by yourself. I know that always kind of revitalizes me. It's just being out in nature and getting some fresh air.
But that could be [00:15:00] anything for anyone anywhere. So just find that place of where you feel like your most content and try to seek it out. Try to make a point in an effort to get to that place. Maybe once a week, maybe once a month, whatever is doable for you, just to kind of round yourself and get back to a place where you are feeling that inner peace.
The eighth thing I would say is to work on acceptance. And so Acceptance meaning like letting go of the things that we can't control and accepting the present as it is. And if you notice, some of these themes kind of all thread together, and I think that's no surprise when we're talking about inner peace.
But I do think it's really important to again, if we're in a challenging season or whatever it is. It doesn't have to be a challenging season. It could just be maybe a challenging person or whatever the case is. I think we have to also allow that level of acceptance like, okay, it is not [00:16:00] my job to change this person or it is not my job to change this situation.
You know, this is what I might do to help the situation. Maybe I can offer some wisdom and advice, but at the end of the day it's the Holy Spirit's job to change hearts. And I think that when we, give certain things over and we accept our own limitations in certain situations or relationships or whatever the case is, that offers a sense of freedom and peace.
And then we're not so burdened by worrying about fixing either everybody else's problem or feeling like we should be doing it. First of all, we're not God. We're never going to be God. But I think beyond what we can do and what we're willing to offer in a loving way, we just need to also have a level of acceptance to just let go of those things that we can't control and trust that God has his hand in it and he'll do the work that needs to be done.
And that was kind of another big thing for me, but definitely giving me a lot more peace [00:17:00] and freedom every time I practice that. The next thing, and actually, I think this is eight. I think I said eight last time, but is to foster deep connections and community. And I think the one wonderful thing about this, holiday season that we were just in is that just seems like a natural time of year where that happens.
But a lot of times after the holidays, there could be like months where we don't connect authentically and engage with a real community and connections and relationships with people that really are life giving. And so it's important to make sure that we don't just let those things go by.
Maybe start. 2025 with putting in your calendar some intentional time for relationships and connection. However that looks, it doesn't have to be like a standing every thursday night. We have to go play bongo or something that you don't want to do at all. It could just be, you know what, I'm gonna on, friday morning, I'm going to give my mom a phone call.[00:18:00]
Or maybe, once a month, my girlfriends and I are, we're just going to have a standing date of where we're going to meet for coffee or something that is doable, but something that where it's not like six months have gone by and you're like, oh, shoot, you know, I wonder how so and so is doing. So that's something again that I have to be very intentional about.
I get caught up in my own thing. It is nothing to do with anybody. I absolutely adore my friends. They're wonderful people, but I get caught up in my own home, my own thing that I'm doing. And next thing you know this is what we're doing. We're scrambling to try to make a connection. And so I don't think that necessarily has to be because then you have that.
Added a little bit of a guilt if you haven't caught up with somebody or you run into somebody and you're like shoot I think I you know, we were supposed to connect, months ago, but if you make the time ahead of time to make that happen Then it will happen and you'll feel a lot better about it The other thing I would say is to avoid judgment [00:19:00] I think every time we head into a new season, it's always a good refresh with everything, right?
And I think judgment is just one of those things where it's so easy to just find ourselves. Even if we're not somebody who considers to be judgmental, we find ourselves judging somebody else's anything, right? Doesn't really matter. Not even in a malicious way, just as our natural sinful nature of, you know, thinking that we can do it better or we've done it better.
But I think if we focus our attention more on ourselves in the sense where we have our own junk to work on and less of what other people around us we feel like are not doing well or right or the way we would do it. I think we'd be feel a lot more peaceful and contentful because I'm pretty sure we all have enough of our own stuff.
I know I do to work on instead of worrying about somebody else's. And and I think we just. Can focus on making ours a priority in 2025. [00:20:00] We're going to feel so much better leaning in. And I also think to that point is that when people see you working on your own stuff. Instead of acting like you have it all together, that also is a window and a light to somebody else to maybe create a domino effect and maybe find that as an inspiration for them to do the same.
So just don't underestimate what people are seeing in you and how you're responding and reacting to them. And lastly, I would just say, take a walk. And I know I mentioned practicing self care and all of that, but I mean, sometimes take a walk, meaning sometimes you just need to remove yourself from a situation to get the inner peace that you're craving.
And so if you find yourself in a, maybe it's a room, of you know, different women that you don't know, or just a situation, whatever the case is, rather than give into the overwhelming feelings of anxiety and stress and all of those things. [00:21:00] If that's coming on, just have the confidence in yourself to excuse yourself and to take a walk.
Walk away. There's nothing wrong with that. Actually, I think it just shows a lot more strength and courage when you have the ability to do that. And I think other people will respect that as well. There's nothing worse than staying in in a place where you're actually feeling worse. And then what happens with that is when we do that, When we feel like we're doing it for somebody else and it's not healthy for us, we're not creating healthy boundaries, but we're also resenting that situation and those people down the road and then we are going to be less apt to want to engage with them at another time.
And so we're honest upfront and just, you know, Hey, I need to step out and take a walk or I need to remove myself from here, people will appreciate that so much more.
I hope this has really helped. I really hope 2025 is a year of cultivating [00:22:00] peace and contentment and learning how to stay calm.
So that's it for me today, friend. I hope you have a fabulous week. Don't forget to live your life on purpose and God bless.
