ο»Ώπ Hey friend, and welcome back to the Life on Purpose podcast. I am so excited to be back and sharing a new episode with you. I know it's been a minute. We've been on a little hiatus here, celebrating the summer and my youngest going off to college and all of the things. But I wanted to jump back on here.
We've got a couple of episodes to finish up in 2024 before we move into some great guests coming into 2025. But today I wanted to talk about something that I think is very relevant, especially as we lead into Halloween, and we're seeing all the masks everywhere, and that is saving face. I think for most of us, it's easy to transition from being a small child and wanting to dress up and pretend to be somebody that we're not to carrying some of that into adulthood and really not letting people see our authentic selves.
We don't want them to see if we're struggling. And so what we do as a defense mechanism, really. Is that we save face? We pretend that we are someone that we're not. We're in a season that maybe we're struggling in, but we fail to let others know. And so that's what we're going to talk about today.
As I get older, I always say I'm less interested in the mask itself but more interested in what's really going on behind that mask. And curious to know why that's the mask that they're wearing. So, one of the things that I think is important to note first is that our authentic nature is revealed in our ability To express ourselves without masking our true thoughts and emotions.
People pleasing, fear, silence, avoidance. Those are things that often hide our true unfiltered selves. So I think that's something to pay attention to. I think at some point in our lives, we've all dealt with it. Most of us really worry. I know I did about what others think. Think, and we choose to disguise or manipulate the features of who we are inside, especially like I said, in a specific season or circumstance that's going on in our life.
I think it's really more important a lot of times for us to be seen as strong, confident and intelligent. And we flip those things thinking that if we show someone what's really going on, they're not going to think those things about us, Which obviously is not true. So I think that One of the things that can be really scary is to reveal our true selves knowing this what?
People might think if they knew this was actually going on, and I know for me personally, I played this game for many years. If you have followed me at all, You'll know that I struggled with two major losses, and that really catapulted and provoked about 15 years of severe anxiety and so after those losses, I found myself more times than not, just overwhelmed with fear, but also overwhelmed with the fear of letting others know what I was actually dealing with.
And so that's, I think, today's message: I really want to help that person who maybe is in that season right now. They're struggling. They feel just not confident or feel insecure about showing, taking that mask off, and being authentic to what's really happening in their life. And, in doing so, I think We actually, without realizing it, can disrupt our healing process and really see the value and support of others.
For me personally, two things weighed heavily on my decision to wear a mask to the outside world. The first one was insecurity, which I just kind briefly touched on. I think a lot of times our insecurities are the things that hold us back because we feel like we're not going to measure up to somebody else.
So we have to pretend either that we're more of who we are at that moment. Or we can bring more to the table than we actually can. And so we feel like we're not enough, and so we hold back and really hide what's actually going on when, in reality, most people are feeling that same way at a certain point in their life about something, right?
It doesn't have to be necessarily deaths in the family or everybody's trigger is going to look different, of why they feel like they feel insecure in a moment or around certain people or in a specific season. That's not the point. The point is when we get to a place where we find our people, and we trust our people, and that's a whole other process of level of discernment of finding those right people where we can lean into them and not have to worry about or feel insecure about sharing what's really going on.
And there's such healing that takes place. comes from that. And it took me years to really learn that lesson. And I think especially because I was somebody who, I was the person people came to. And there's also something to be said for that. And that's really the second thing that really weighed heavily in my decision to mask what I was actually feeling.
And that was pride. And that really leads into what I was just mentioning about I was the friend typically that people would reach out to. People would talk to me when they were struggling. And so it felt really almost out of my nature to want to do that to somebody else, to reciprocate that because I was the one I felt like people needed to come to.
And so if they couldn't come to me or if they felt like I was broken in some way, I felt like that was a weakness that I needed to figure out on my own. I didn't want to offer them that. I didn't want to offer them a brokenness. I never saw that as a brokenness in them, but in myself, I viewed it differently.
And I think a lot of times, too, we are so much harder on ourselves. We're so much more critical. We think we should be able to figure everything out. And that was certainly my issue. Was that idea of being so prideful that not only should I figure it out, but I certainly could figure it out on my own.
And of course, that wasn't the case, but I think that those are all stepping stones. They're all learning lessons learned ofhow we can really move ahead and practice the art of being authentic. And again, that is a practice. I think trusting your people again I don't think every person is equipped to be somebody we're leaning into when we're talking about those things, but there are people in our lives that surely are, and we need to lean into them more.
We need to trust them more for the things that are weighing heavily and burdening us. Why is authenticity important? Authenticity demands sharing of our inner self. And again, this was a really sticking point for me. This is very challenging for me. I didn't necessarily want to share my inner self, but every, each time we do that, every time that we're sharing it attributes to our growth, it attributes to our confidence, and it also connects us with others and again, reminds us that we're not alone. So even though I may be coming to the table with an issue that I'm really struggling with, it may just be enough for somebody else to speak up and say I'm not struggling with this, but I'm struggling with that.
And there's that community that's just naturally organically forming of women who can really speak up. love and support each other without judgment. And I think that there's, that's such an invaluable place to be, but you cannot find it when you're hiding behind this mask. The other thing I want you to remember is that I want to challenge you actually to think about this idea of being authentic and what that looks like.
And so the next time you see somebody with a mask on, which will be coming up in this next week with Halloween, I want you to think about, are you wearing a mask? Is there a mask that you have been putting on that you have been wearing? trying to save face some level of a facade where you just feel like you are too afraid to reveal what's really happening.
And then I would ask yourself if you are being authentic, is this your best and most authentic self? And if not, what's stopping you? So that's our episode today. In a few weeks, I'm going to be sharing a new episode with Alicia Michelle. She has a new book coming out, Emotionally Confident. It's such an amazing resource for women and men.
And so I would love for you to check that out as well. But in the meantime, I will be looking forward to connecting with you soon. Feel free to DM me; feel free to write in any messages here on ways where you feel like you have been wearing a mask or what struggles you've had. I love building community.
And this is a great place to get started. So God bless.
