Lighten Your Load

Recently, my husband surprised me with a trip - alone with no kids. You may wonder why this is worth sharing, but trust me when I say it is.

This trip was the first vacation we had taken together without kids since we married, so 30 years is kind of a big deal.

We had a wonderful time restoring what can easily get lost with opposite schedules and parenting young adults.

To be completely honest, we have always enjoyed traveling with our children, and that's how we wanted to do it, and we still do.

But I discovered that as my children grew, so did the burden of finding solutions to their problems or challenges, and I began to feel burned out.

To be clear, I'm not talking about offering advice; I'm talking about laying awake at night, searching for products, practices, or whatever was needed to fix the problem instead of tending to my own needs at 54, which consists mainly of a good night's sleep.

And because I am someone who needs to be physically removed from a place or situation to regain perspective, this trip was the perfect opportunity.

Of course, this issue is entirely self-inflicted. My children don't ask me or my husband to do this, but I sometimes find it hard not to carry unnecessary burdens.

Maybe you can relate?

As a parent who lost a child, I never wanted to see my children suffer, but I had to ask myself if that was actually helping or hurting them more. How do I expect them to be resilient and strong if they never have to navigate pain and disappointment?

I'm not God; I, like my children, am limited. He is the one they and I need to turn to and trust while putting in the work.

This trip offered a lot of clarity and connection. We discovered that some things are not ours to fix, and removing that burden has given us more peace, freedom, and trust than ever before.

If you have found yourself overwhelmed with the burden of making everyone's life perfect or happy, here are some simple ways to help you remove it.

-Ask God to help you lay down what you're not meant to carry.

-Talk it out with other friends and family. Avoid isolation.

-Establish healthy boundaries.

-Ask yourself if this is affecting your physical or mental health.

-Offer insight and then let go of someone else's follow-through.

-Decide if your involvement has to do with your self-worth.